Heated Pleasures Page 3

  Ryan whispered, “I’ll just see who it is and get rid of them,” he said, planting a kiss on my forehead.

  But I was already awake and needed to use the bathroom. Getting out of bed, I could hardly miss what was being said, since the voices carried.

  It was Bill. I heard him apologize for waking Ryan. “I didn’t realize you had company. Who is it this time? The blonde from the seventh floor?”

  “No, Sarah.”

  “Sarah? Sarah who?”

  “The librarian.”

  “The librarian? That black broad? You’ve got to be kidding. You won the dare fair and square. No need to take the stray home.”

  Dare? Stray? Those words and their implications echoed mercilessly in my head. All this between us, did it really mean nothing to Ryan? Had I been an interlude or perhaps an experiment? He’d probably never had any black sugar before. And I thought he cared. Boy, did I buy the bridge he was selling. I grabbed my clothes and ran into the bathroom as the first tears slipped from my eyes. Whoever coined the words “the truth hurts” couldn’t have been more right. My original gut instinct had been bang on. It had been all too good to be true. The only reason Ryan asked me out in the first place was to win a lousy dare! Our entire relationship had been built on a lie. A damn bet! How could I believe anything Ryan said now?

  Ryan knocked on the bathroom door. “Sarah, are you all right?”

  I came out fully dressed.

  “Baby, what’s wrong?”

  “Tell me, Ryan, how much did Bill pay you to sleep with me?”

  “You heard what Bill said?” he asked, trying to put his arms around me.

  “Let me go!” I wrestled away from his grasp.

  “No. I want you to stay.”

  “I have nothing to stay for.”

  “At least hear me out,” he pleaded, following me from the room like a puppy at my heels.

  “It’s true I initially asked you out on a dare. I just never expected to fall in love with you.”

  “Too bad, it was all a sick joke,” I said, and walked out of his apartment, slamming the door behind me in finality.

  I cried all the way home. It was a wonder I got home at all. I had no idea how I was going to get over Ryan. I only knew that I had to if I intended to get on with my life. I decided to take a leave of absence from the library. Getting away for a while seemed like the best solution. Maybe I’d find a job in another city with different scenery and start a new life.

  Memories of my childhood came flooding back. All those terrible foster care homes, where all I meant was an extra few bucks for the woman and an easy target for her husband or boyfriend of the week. Just an easy mark? Was that all I was to Ryan, too?

  The telephone began to ring. I knew it had to be Ryan. I had no desire to talk to him, feeling as hurt as I did, so I took the phone off the hook. Then I realized that he’d probably come over.

  Frantically, I threw some things in an overnight bag and hopped into the car. I didn’t want to be here when he arrived. I might be strong now, but would I be when he was outside my door?

  I drove away as a new crop of tears filled my eyes. I cursed myself for believing that I could have a man like Ryan. I’d forgotten who I was—a nobody with so-so looks. A handsome guy like Ryan could have any woman. Why would he settle? One of my foster mothers once told me never to aspire to something I was not. When had I stopped heeding that advice? Happiness and love weren’t for people like me.

  I headed toward the expressway. I tried to concentrate on my driving, but my mind kept wandering back to Ryan. Add my constant stream of tears to that and it’s no wonder I didn’t see the guy who cut in front of me until it was too late. When I swerved to avoid him, my car hydroplaned and went sailing over the guardrail into nothingness. Then my entire world went black.

  * * *

  When I finally opened my eyes again I found myself in a hospital. I tried to sit up, but couldn’t. Aside from the fact that one of my arms was attached to an intravenous drip and the other was in a cast, my head felt as if it were stuck in a vise. I wondered if I was really in hell and not a hospital, after all. As I lay there trying to focus my pained eyes on the ceiling, I wondered how long I’d been there.

  “So you’ve finally decided to rejoin us,” a pleasant voice said.

  I tried to locate the source. A nurse had walked into the room presumably to check on me.

  “Would you like some ice chips to soothe your throat?”

  “Yes,” I tried to say, but I sounded more like a frog with laryngitis.

  She left and returned a few minutes later carrying a bowl filled with chips of ice. She placed one on my tongue. Though the chip was cold and melted on my tongue, it did very little to curb my thirst.

  “Here’s another,” she said. “In case you’re wondering, you’re in Good Sam, it’s Tuesday morning and you’re going to be just fine. The best part is that the baby wasn’t hurt in the accident.”

  “Baby?” What baby?

  “I told your guy that, too. Heck of a way for him to find out. He was so worried about you. I wish I had someone who loved me as much. You’re one lucky girl, that’s for sure.”

  I wanted to scream. Not only had my beautiful world stopped spinning, it was now unraveling like a pull in a sweater. Pregnant. Just what I needed on top of everything else. I was afraid to think what else could go wrong. What in God’s name was I going to do? And if I heard the nurse correctly, not only did Ryan know about the baby, but he was at the hospital. So much for my great disappearing act and starting anew. If it weren’t so hysterically funny, I’d be drowning in my own tears.

  “If you need anything, push the call button.”

  What I need now is for you to make me disappear. My head throbbed and I had absolutely no idea what I was going to do with all my wonderful news. And as if that weren’t enough, Ryan came walking through the door. He was definitely the last person I cared to see at that moment. He looked tired, his eyes were red-rimmed and concern was etched into his face.

  The tears began to flow. He reached over and wiped them for me. “Oh, baby, what did you do?”

  I tried to turn away from him. I didn’t want him to see me cry. “Go away,” I croaked.

  “I’m not going anywhere. You’re my captive audience, now. Why didn’t you tell me about the baby?”

  I tried to tell him that I didn’t know, but a wave of pain interrupted me and I gasped. It seemed to alarm Ryan.

  “Don’t move! Do you want me to get the nurse?”

  “No…I’m…okay.”

  “Why did you run away? I thought we had something wonderful between us.”

  I shook my head. “All a lie.”

  “No, Sarah, it was beautiful. You let a stupid remark made by a shallow guy come between us.”

  “Just a bet.”

  “Yes, but that changed as soon as I got to know you. When you ran away, I was so worried. And now with the baby…”

  “Don’t need you.”

  “No. I want to be with you—and the baby. I want us to be a family.”

  “I’ll deal with the baby. Don’t need your help.”

  “What do you mean by you’ll deal with the baby?”

  “I haven’t explored all my options,” I told him.

  That part was true. I’d only found out about the baby moments before Ryan came strolling into my room. I really hadn’t given any thought to what I might do.

  “I won’t allow you to sweep my child away like…a piece of garbage.”

  When I didn’t answer he added, “I mean it, Sarah. That baby is a part of me, as well. I want to exercise my rights as its father and be a good one.”

  I could tell just by looking at him that he meant every word. Then his face softened again and there was a great deal of emotion in his voice as he said, “Sarah, listen to me. It’s not charity I’m offering you. It’s my love. I want to share my life with you—and our child.”

  Tears began to blur my eyes again. “Please, g
o away.”

  “There’s no way I’m going to let you or the baby out of my life. Marry me,” he pleaded.

  It would have been so easy to say yes. But I feared he might change his mind somewhere down the road. This could be only pity. And how long does one keep a stray around before one grows tired of it and kicks it to the curb?

  Then I noticed the tears in his eyes. Unless the man was the world’s greatest actor, he really did care. I couldn’t fight his tears. They melted my defenses. What more could I ask of him? How could he prove his love if I denied him the chance?

  “May I have some ice chips?”

  He picked up the bowl holding the chips and placed one in my mouth.

  “Thank you.”

  Ryan waited until the chip melted and I swallowed before placing another on my tongue. When I swallowed again, he asked, “Would you like more?”

  I shook my head. “Ryan, you know nothing about me—”

  “I know all I need to know, Sarah.”

  “No. What I told you about me is all made up. None of it was true.” I felt a sudden urge to come clean. Either he’d understand how I felt or he wouldn’t. If it ended our relationship, it was a helluva lot better now.

  “Sarah, what are you talking about?”

  I told Ryan everything, including the foster homes I’d been forced to live in. How miserably I was treated by the other kids, identifying with Cinderella many times over. I wasn’t certain which abuse was worse, the physical or the emotional. It took a great many years of counseling to get it behind me. Luckily for me, the last foster home I was in had been investigated by the state and lost its credentials. A caring social worker made certain I got the help I needed, or else I might have become one of those throwaway people you see living on the streets—if you can call that living.

  Pity was written all over his face. That was the one emotion I hated the most. I wrapped up my charming childhood story by telling him exactly how I felt. “So you see, Ryan, all my life I wanted to be someone else. I would look into the mirror every morning wishing I’d see a prettier face. I guess I never expected to bump into a guy who took a dare to see if he could get into my pants, or whatever the hell the damn bet was, and fall in love. My mistake was to even think that a handsome guy like you would ever want some plain-Jane sister like me.”

  “You couldn’t be more wrong or blind,” Ryan replied, shaking his head. “Aside from being physically attractive with your soulful doe eyes that make me melt each time you look at me, and your soft, plush lips, you’ve got a natural beauty that radiates from within. Ms. Librarian, one only has to open the book to see it. I’m proud to be seen with you by my side.”

  I was speechless. I was too busy translating the meaning of what he’d just said. It had sounded like music to my ears. He took my silence as an opportunity to continue.

  “Sarah, I don’t care what you did or didn’t do in your past. You rose above it all and made something of yourself. You didn’t let it destroy you then. Don’t let it destroy the beautiful thing we have between us now. I beg you.” He touched my hand. Heat seared the spot.

  “I’d love to believe you, but I can’t.”

  “Yes, you can. I can’t do anything about your past, but I can certainly make sure your future is a happy one. Just give me some time to show you. Better still…I dare you.”

  The silent tears began to slip from my eyes again and I turned away. Ryan gently cupped my chin and turned my head. Then he softly dabbed away the wetness with a tissue.

  “Let me love you, Sarah Williams. That’s all I ask.”

  In the end, my heart won the battle. I loved Ryan and I wanted to have his baby. I knew it would be a beautiful one. And perhaps our child would inherit my love for books. Besides, I had to give Ryan the chance. After all, he’d dared me.

  DANGEROUS ATTRACTION

  I watched my mother in the mirror as she brushed my strawberry-blond hair, making it shimmer like gold in the light. “You’ll be turning heads one day, Kayla. Just don’t go batting your baby blues and losing yours over the wrong man.”

  “I won’t, Mama, I promise,” I said, not quite understanding what she meant or the irony of her words.

  The sweet memory faded, and I was back in the present staring out of the grimy window of a Greyhound bus heading for Las Vegas. I had turned eighteen last week and had scraped together nearly every cent I had for the bus fare. I didn’t think Mama would mind me going. It freed up some room in the trailer. Besides, she had to be blind not to notice things hadn’t been exactly wonderful for me there in Arizona lately. I was tired of fighting off her dates. I didn’t blame her, since it wasn’t really her fault. I guess men just naturally seemed to have wandering eyes—and hands.

  To be honest, the real reason I left was Jimmy. Jim Grant was a smooth-talking, slow-handed, two-timing, six-foot-two bastard with whom I’d fallen in love and now so desperately wanted to forget. Ignoring my wishes, my subconscious conjured up his handsome face and forced my memory to replay the last beautiful night we’d shared together.

  It had been a sweltering August night when he knocked on the door of our trailer, looking so fine in his black T, which emphasized his hard-muscled chest. Jimmy had been able to make me nearly cream my pants from the moment I’d first met him at my friend Dee’s graduation party. There’d been something about him…from the way he filled his jeans to his handsome face. I’d dreamed of being with him. And when he noticed me, my life took on new meaning. That night, we were alone together and nature was about to take its course.

  Mama had let him in, and the three of us sat around the kitchen table gabbing and drinking cold beer. Jimmy and I took off when Mama’s date showed up. We headed for a small bar in Apache Junction, not far from the trailer park. The bar was dark and smoky. It took a good ten minutes for my eyes to stop watering and focus. Slow dance music continuously played from an old, beat-up jukebox.

  We sat down at the bar, and Jimmy ordered us two beers. A couple had gotten up to dance, and we watched them as we sipped our beer. By this time, I was feeling quite mellow. All the rough edges of my world had been smoothed out, leaving me kind of warm and fuzzy.

  “Wanna dance, Kayla?” Jimmy asked.

  “Sure,” I said, melting into his strong, muscled arms.

  We began to move slowly in place, his arms draped around the small of my back and my head resting on the pillow of his broad shoulder. I drank in his scent, which seemed to intoxicate me more, causing my heart to dance with excitement. I stroked the muscles of his hard back as he nuzzled my neck and French-kissed my ear. That alone drove me crazy, and I felt heat begin to rise from deep inside me to match my skittering pulse. Feeling the heat of his body through the thin fabric of my blouse caused my breasts to tingle. Gradually, his hands dropped to my backside, and I felt him gently squeeze my buttocks as he pulled me closer to him. His manhood felt hard pressed against my thigh, sending a new delightful shiver of wanting right through me.

  I lifted the front of my short denim skirt and repositioned myself so that I could rub myself against him. His choppy breathing grew loud, matching my own. We ground ourselves into one another on the dance floor until I was certain I’d drenched the front of his jeans. If we continued our little dance any longer, he would have taken me on the pool table in the back. We had to get out of there fast.

  The closest motel was a mile or so away, but we never made it that far. Jimmy had parked his Jeep in the back of the parking lot. We tongue-kissed and fondled our way out of the bar to the passenger door. Pressing me against the car, he lifted my short skirt and ripped my panties off. He unzipped his jeans and freed his bulging cock. I rubbed the swollen head as he thrust his tongue deep into my mouth. Then, holding my rear in his large hands, he lifted me onto his erection and began to move like a well-oiled jackhammer. I could almost relive the pleasure now as I sat recalling each tantalizing thrust.

  I’d run my restless hands up and down his back and through his hair. Our kisses wer
e deep and long. He reached under my blouse and found a breast. As he kneaded my nipple, new tingles of pleasure shot through me. I felt as if I were being consumed by fire. Finally, I surrendered to an awesome, shuddering ecstasy. Jimmy gave one last, deep thrust and came, as well. We heard voices, and he quickly withdrew. I felt his hot cum slowly drip down my inner thigh…

  The braking of the bus brought me out of my daydream and back to reality. A week later, I’d caught Jimmy doing my own mother—the ultimate betrayal—and that was that. I looked around me. The bus was crowded with people of all ages. Some were like me, probably going to Vegas hoping to start a new life. Others had dreams of winning it big. The two women sitting across from me were old enough to be grandmothers. They chattered away incessantly like excited children about which hotels they’d go to first and what slots they’d play.

  When I got to Vegas, the very first thing I did was buy a newspaper from the machine by the depot to check out the want ads. I circled all the possibilities and called each prospect. The first few were already filled, but the one for a waitress at a pancake house was still open. Heck, I had been a waitress back in Arizona for a while. How hard could it be to serve pancakes?

  As I walked into the restaurant, I began to have second thoughts. The place looked like a dive. Who came to eat here, I wondered, bums? How could I make any tips? Then I saw that the place was filled with men of various ages, in all sorts of attire, which made no sense whatsoever. I asked the cashier, a young girl with a diamond stud in one nostril and a safety pin in her right eyebrow, where the manager was hanging out. Five minutes later, a short, mustached man with two chins, an ample belly and slicked-back hair was ushering me to his office, which reeked of stale cigarette smoke.

  “When can you start?” he asked, lighting up and blowing a perfect circle of smoke into the air above him.

  “Anytime, but don’t you want to interview me? I have experience, you know.”

  “That’s certainly a plus, doll, but that’s not the important requirement you need to work here.”